just livin’ the dream, or so to say

Life has been somewhat crazy lately. Maybe it always is, but now I’m starting to recognize it.

While driving home from somewhere, sometime, I heard the familiar lyric on the radio, “Dreams come slow, but they go so fast.” And it always seemed to slide by and fade away into the lyrical abyss, as many of the other words and phrases do, but not this time. It hit. Hard.

Things I’ve been dreaming about for years, are now here, in the present tense, and I can see them already sliding away as new dreams form and become the focus and direction. And it doesn’t mean that these new dreams are bad – quite the opposite – they are exciting possibilities! But what effect do they have on the present day dreams. Do present dreams and future dreams balance out?

My wonderful housemate and I dreamt of living together after our volunteer experience. We first dreamt of Louisville, then Minnesota, and then our paths parted for several months. Until naturally life lead us back to the same town and same apartment, near to where we had served for two years. It’s amazing having her as my roommate! I always have someone to talk to about my life – the interesting people I meet, my crazy moments, and all the stories in-between. We can catch up on Netflix TV shows together, eat together, pray together, and live, TOGETHER.

But after my re-arrival in Kentucky, I found a new dream… Well, it’s more like a new dream found me. A dream that would hold me in Kentucky, but would tear me out of my delightful apartment with my most amazing roommate. It’s not a bad dream. Nope. It’s actually a dream that mixes with my ideal-crazy-I-never-actually-thought-would-happen dream. I’d get to live in the boonies at a retreat center that serves ministers, missionaries, and their families. My title would be “Missionary” in Kentucky – DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS?! For me – Not that I know of. It won’t be an easy dream, then again the dream I’m currently living in isn’t easy either.

I’m living in Kentucky = LOVE with one of my best friends = PERFECTION but on the job front… I’m thankful, but NOT okay. I get the opportunity to learn the front desk position at a hotel [I’ve done housekeeping, laundry, and breakfast hosting – so I guess it’s about time.] My boss is awesome and my co-workers are super cool and it’s such a BLESSING to get to know them, but I’m not fulfilled.

I want to HELP people. I want to SERVE people. I told God, before the epic move back to KY that I wanted to just get rid of all the burdens and junk in my life, travel lighter, pick up my cross and FOLLOW HIM. I want to TRUST HIM for everything. I know that HE WILL PROVIDE even if I have to fundraise for my salary. I’m actually quite CONFIDENT IN HIM that He can provide me much more than I am making now.

The best thing I know to do is to do my best to balance it all. To be content and grateful in the present, excited and prayerful for the future, and be as they say “Just livin’ the dream.”

It never hit me before, but maybe it’s a thing of my late 20s onward: Dreams come slow, but they go so fast. Just another reason to live in the moment.

The best piece of advice I’ve ever received is from a life coach. She told me I focused too much on making my decisions and living the decisions I made. She mentioned that I might be a different person at the time of the decision versus when the decision takes effect. Instead of making my decisions, I need to LET MY DECISIONS MAKE ME. So maybe that’s what all this is. Maybe I’m not making my dreams, MAYBE my DREAMS ARE MAKING ME. Maybe, just maybe.

Stay tuned for more insights and dreams and life, and stories too! Coming soon to a theatre near you 😉

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