Thursdays are my worst days. They’re not terrible and it’s probably more of a “First-World Problem” sort of thing, but to me they’re not good. They are valley days that follow my mountain high days. I have two “mountain high” days per week – Sundays and Wednesdays. Sundays because it’s church and me-time and soccer. Mondays aren’t too terrible because I don’t mind 2nd shift – I can still sleep in… or run while it’s still cool outside. Whereas Thursdays are 1st shift, bright and early mornings that usually follow too late of nights, and it’s usually bloody hot outside by the time I get to run. But I love Wednesdays. Wednesdays I volunteer all day at cR – usually doing some sort of physical labor [which is AWESOME!] like cleaning cabins with multiple levels or painting. Then afterwards I usually hang out with a friend or go to town, aka Richmond, and drink really good coffee or people watch or bond with my awesome housemate, since this is one of the few moments each week that we actually get to see each other.
So today, God reminded me of a really cool lesson [please sense some sarcasm… thanks 🙂 ]. Good things are good, but only in God’s timing. I learn this lesson more often than I should – hopefully sometime it will just stick. Today, I learned it the hard way. I was overly exhausted as I was ending my shift, but also was overly hungry [I always forget to pack a lunch on the early shifts]. So I decided that I should order a pizza to pick up on the way home. And I LOVE PIZZA. I designed it to my pleasing – jalapenos, red peppers, and pineapple – saucy, spicy and sweet = yummm. Issss gooood. Then I napped. Not long enough though, because in the back of my mind, I knew I needed to run – to train for this delightful half-marathon [I know you sense the sarcasm, there is a bit there, but I am actually excited for it.]
I knew I should wait until 7 or 8… You know, when it cooled down… and my stomach had a chance to settle. But overly exhausted days always bring out the worst in me. My bad habits come out to play and I get all anxious and start feeling like crap [probably because I treat myself like crap.] Anyway, I decided around 6:30 to run. And I knew during this run I had to up my game, run a shorter distance but at a faster pace, so I could start trimming down my time. And I did. 10 minutes – 1 mile – and then death. My love of pizza and jalapenos, and my love of running didn’t love each other. It’s amazing how in those moments when I know I am my own culprit of the urge to curl up and die, that I can still hear the still, small voice of my Savior saying “It’s gonna be okay. I still love you. Let’s get you home.” But don’t worry, I don’t get off the hook that easy, I also am reminded, “Remember this feeling the next time you want to do something in your time. And then instead of treating yourself like crap, Wait on me.”
I’ve never really been good at treating myself well. Whereas I live to treat others well. I love people and helping them realize how awesome they are or how greatly God is going to use them for His Kingdom by encouraging them, cooking for them, sending letters, hugging, and simply being a listening ear. I’m blessed to have friends that do the same for me. But I need to learn how to do the same for me. I need to learn how to treat myself as the temple of God.
Several weeks ago at church we sang the lyrics, “Holy Spirit you are welcome here. Come flood this place and fill the atmosphere.” During those lyrics the Holy Spirit prompted me: Is your soul a place where I feel welcome. Do you welcome me [the Holy Spirit] in? If not, what do you need to get rid of? What distractions are hindering you?
Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends? If not, why not? Sarah, I don’t think you’d really want to treat your neighbors as your treat yourself, because frankly, you don’t always treat yourself that well. I love you. Why don’t you love you [or the me in you – if you don’t want to feel too self-centered]. Do you treat your body as a Holy temple? Do you nourish your mind, body and soul so that I feel welcome? Would you advise a friend to eat delicious yet deadly pizza and then go for a run? I don’t think so. You need to start treating yourself as you treat your neighbors. ❤