Click on the title to read the article. Read it, and then come back to me 🙂
I’m going to admit something to you. Back in college, probably about sophomore year [about 5 years ago], I had a feeling – a spiritual sensing – that I would one day marry a pastor.Men of God in leadership positions is an attractive quality to me. One of my roommates at the time, whose father is a pastor, advised me that if I really thought this was of the Lord that I would need to start praying and preparing myself now. So I did, for awhile, until nothing happened and I forgot about it.
Though, from time to time, the GRE word “Bucolic” sticks with me, in the back of my head. I know that it’s meaning isn’t truly the meaning I’ve put to it, but what fun would that be?! While my other roommate was studying for the GRE, she picked this one out for me. Haha, it always makes me smile thinking of it. On her notecard, “Bucolic” was defined as “rustic and pastoral.” In our minds, we decided this actually meant “country man [cowboy if we’re full out dreaming here 😉 ] and pastor.” It’s a funny, yet ingenious way to describe my dream man, if I do say so myself. Ha.
Because of my one-day-a-week volunteering at the retreat center that ministers to people in ministry, I’m starting to read up more about troubles that plague ministers/missionaries and their families. Articles like this one remind me of all the prayer involved and a pure focus on HIM. As I read it, my heart pitter-pattered and eyes brimmed with tears in a heart’s desire, knowingly way. I don’t know why my heart desires the difficult paths, but it does. Don’t get me wrong, I know these paths are lined with blessings and lead by the Spirit.
I’m not claiming “This is of the Lord, and He told me this, so it’s definitely going to happen!” Not at all. I’m simply stating that it is a desire, and has been for the past five years, and I’m assuming it will continue to be. And if it does happen, I know that God has equipped me with qualities that would be beneficial in that position like my love of encouraging, welcoming, and taking care of people [emotionally], as well as my faith and drive to follow my heart no matter what, perseverance through the dark valleys and ability to dance in the rain, and my experience with love and loss and ability to empathize. This much I know is true, God made me for people.
And if it does happen, I’m gonna need a whole lotta prayers, because I also know that many times I put others ahead of myself to a fault. Sometimes while taking care of everyone else, I forget to take care of myself. And I let everyone soak up my everything until I hit wall and crash. [No matter what I need to work on this.]
But if it doesn’t happen, then it doesn’t. If anything, I’m reminded to pray for my pastor’s wife and all the pastor’s spouses of the world and treat them like anyone wants to be treated, not someone’s shadow or other half, but their own person with gifts and talents and a voice.