The “Perfect” Syndrome

Disclaimer: I love Cross Point Church, and I think Pastor Pete Wilson is incredibly great. I am an online attender. I was first introduced to Cross Point, last year, while on my birthday weekend in Nashville. I have since then watched most of their messages online [while attending Southland Church in Lexington – also great]. Sometimes I am tempted to move to Nashville so I could be a part of this church community.

Also this is just me cutting open my heart and sharing some of my deepest, darkest insides – hoping that there’s someone out there who understands, or who can learn and be blessed by them. I also am better able to let go through writing. #Therapy

I watched this message this morning thinking Well perhaps I’ll learn more, so I can be a better friend to the mothers I know… Considering I’m not even close to being a mother, and I already struggle with the desires of knowing if the “mom thing” is for me anyway… Nonetheless, this is a great message for you moms out there, but it’s also a great message for all women – for daughters, aunts, grandmas, single folk…

Pastor Pete Wilson of Cross Point Church in Middle Tennessee shares about 3 things every mom should quit forever, and 1 thing he hopes they never quit.

I really hope you’ll watch this sermon, but for the sake of my post, I’ll scan over them quick:

  1. Quit trying to be perfect.
  2. Quit trying to fit society’s expectations.
  3. Quit allowing your insecurities to determine your impact.

* Don’t quit breathing God’s grace for whatever season you’re in.

It didn’t hit me until the end of the message, but God reminded me of all the things I’ve been praying for in the past few months… Help me be a better daughter God. I’m far from perfect. I don’t know  how to be the daughter my mom needs me to be. Help me be a better aunt, Lord. My friends say I’ll be a great one, but I just don’t see it. I love her, but kids aren’t my strong suit. I’m 27 and I’ve never changed a diaper, and I don’t really care to. Am I selfish or what?! I’m not like so-and-so… etc… 

I’m the queen of creating expectations that I know I cannot meet for myself. Being the perfect daughter, the perfect aunt [or the aunt I’m supposed to be], the perfect friend, the perfect coworker, the perfect child of God, but I can’t be any of those. When I’m not trying to be perfect, I readily compare myself to my friends – you know the ones that call their moms everyday… or Skype them weekly… or live close to home so they see them regularly. Or my friends that are already moms and have provided their moms with grandchildren – the ones who are selflessly serving their children. And then theres me… Here I am with no desire, at this time, to create my own children [except to maybe foster one day] – which yes, makes me feel incredibly selfish – even though I spend my life serving others, and volunteering my time, and trying to be a great friend.

One of the things I love about Cross Point Church is they readily preach, “It’s okay to not be okay.” This is where the grace comes in. For whatever season, don’t quit breathing in God’s grace. God didn’t create me to be perfect, he created me to be me. As long as I am being the person God created me to be, I have reason to celebrate. In the words of VeggieTales, “God made you special, and he loves you very much!” And it’s true. I must flee from my ridiculous expectations on myself, from comparing myself to others, from society’s mold and from my insecurities that are taking me away from being the me that God created me for in this moment. All I have to be is the woman God created me to be – daughter, sister, aunt, coworker and friend.


  1. This seems like a really awesome church 🙂 I love your message because it’s all so true and I can certainly relate (and I think most if not all women can!) you’re brave to share and be vulnerable and I hope we can learn to embody the truth you state that God didn’t create us to be perfect, he created us to be US. ❤️


  2. Amazing what you from the heart. You’d I remind me of someone…. You NEED to know that you ARE the best daughter!!! Please do not change!!!!!! You are a GIFT!!! AND you are a GREAT aunt!!! Love you so Mom

    Sent from my iPhone


    Liked by 1 person

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