Opening up my heart for all to see is not an easy task. Visiting with one of my dear friends, she shared an image, which is exactly how it feels. She said it feels like open heart surgery, except everyone can see your insides open on the table. Allowing God to work me through my feelings is like having the best surgeon do open heart surgery with an audience watching. I know that he is the best and he will get me through this, but it is still scary, and at times, I will feel like it is the end of the world. But God’s got this. And by allowing an audience to watch, I’m allowing you all to learn as God works through every little detail of this open heart surgery. It is a combination of learning, healing and growing, together in community, just as our Lord desires. And even if you aren’t a believer, I welcome you to this community – together we will harvest strength through emotional emptying.
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
Psalm 51: 10 KJV
I’m starting off easy… I’m going to ease into this open heart surgery, with a bit of prep work. My junior and senior years of college I nearly minored in Creative Writing. I needed to pull 10 hours a week in an internship, but I couldn’t find the time as I was already pulling 10 hours a week for my Psychology major internship, and working 10 hours a week in the study abroad office, plus taking a full course load… But I did get a to take a few awesome writing courses. For the final of my Intro to Creative Writing course, I chose to create a poetry portfolio. I loved poetry, and would have excelled in the Poetry course, had I enough time to squeeze another course in… Anyway, I bundled together five poems all in the theme of “Life Without a Dad.” I’m going to embark on this journey by sharing each of these poems with you.