Sea Sick Psalm

Mind wandering.

Frantically trying to come up with a plan.

Something.

Please God, Something.

I’ve been on this boat for too long.

The waves constantly tossing and turning.

Moving.

I fear I will never see shore again.

A persistant transition.

Like the wind, always blowing.

Eternally tossing.

My ship at sea.


Even the calm days leave me wanting.

Yearning for even a glimpse of shore.

Sometimes I see one in the distance.

Hope arises.

Sun warms at the possibility.

Heartbeat quickens.

I am alive.

But then my vision changes.

What I saw was only a mirage.

Clouds cover where there once was sunshine.

I’m chilled to the bone.

A near-miss.

A close-call.

Almost.


Oh Lord, when will you deliver me?

To a piece of dry land.

A land flowing with milk and honey.

Or in modern terms.

When will I land that job?

Flowing with abundant salary and benefits.


My faith though present,

Is being exhausted.

Wavering:

As each wave breaks.

As each mirage disappears.

As hunger ensues.

Waiting on that which you promised.

Waiting on you.

To reveal yourself, and your plan, to me.


“Help!” I holler to no response.

“Jesus?” I question into the silence.

“Somebody? Anybody? Help.” the  desperate voice of Simba echoes in my mind.


My boat, now cruise ship…

All that time for renovations.

Through the light of the TV screen,

I hear voice of another frantic character,

“but right now, it’s like he’s a million miles away.”

Her assuring father gently responds,

“Honey, you of all people should understand…

When you’re going through something really hard”

(or when the waves are always tossing

and the waters never-ending…)

“the teacher is always quiet during the test.”

(the captain always concentrating

to get you safely through the storm.)

Instantly, I feel the warmth of His Spirit.

His pressure on my soul.

My anxious ocean calmed.

Momentarily.

I exhale,

knowing,

I am not alone.

CAPTAIN SAFE

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

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